Have you ever questioned your place in the world? This blog post explores this existential question through a coaching session with a beloved friend. We journey into birth, darkness, personal power, the balance between service and pleasure, and self-acceptance. We unravel the lifelong story of “I am the problem” and its origins, facing the demons of childhood conditioning and discovering the deep wisdom of the fertile void. This session is an invitation to step beyond the narratives you've been given and experience yourself in a whole new way. Whether you’ve struggled with feeling too much, not enough, or that you don’t belong, this post will open up new perspectives and remind you that your very existence is divine. 

Unraveling the Story of "I Am the Problem"

Many of our struggles with belonging and self-worth stem from childhood experiences. My client shared how her birth story shaped a deep belief that she was inherently a problem. She was born two weeks late, requiring an emergency C-section. From the very beginning, her presence seemed to create disruption. Her father’s perception of her reinforced this belief, making it feel like an undeniable truth rather than a misunderstanding.

This kind of conditioning is common. As children, we internalize how others see us, and those reflections become the foundation of our self-image. If we were treated as a problem, we may carry that belief into adulthood, questioning our right to take up space. But what if that belief was never true? What if the very thing we were shamed for is actually our greatest source of power?

Embracing the Darkness 

One of the most profound revelations in this session was the idea that the darkness is not something to fear but something to embrace. Society often teaches us that darkness represents danger, struggle, or failure. But in reality, darkness is where all things begin. The womb is dark before birth. The night sky is dark before the sun rises. The soil is dark before seeds break through into life.

The guest in this session had always felt deeply connected to darkness, the mystery, the grief, and the transformation. But she was taught to believe that this connection was wrong, that her depth was something to hide. As we explored this further, it became clear that her true essence was not something to suppress. Instead, it was something to trust. Reframing darkness as the fertile void, the space where all creation begins, allowed her to see her depth as a gift rather than a burden. Instead of resisting it, she could begin to rest into it.

Balancing Pleasure and Service

A recurring struggle in this session was the tension between two seemingly opposing desires: the desire for joy and the desire to be of service. On one side, there was a longing to retreat into pleasure, to escape responsibility and simply exist in a state of ease. On the other side, there was a deep drive to contribute, to give, and to make an impact. At first, these two forces felt like they were pulling in opposite directions. But what if they weren’t separate?

Through this exploration, we discovered that pleasure and service are not opposing forces, they are actually meant to fuel each other. When we allow ourselves to experience pleasure, we have more energy to give. When we surrender to service, we experience the joy of connection. The key is not choosing one over the other but finding a rhythm that allows both to exist in harmony.

Returning to the Feminine as a Source of Trust

The most surprising realization in this session was that the first step toward healing wasn’t about trusting the masculine (God) but about returning to the feminine (the goddess). Many of us have been conditioned to seek structure, validation, and purpose from an external source. But when we reconnect with the feminine, we find something different:

• Safety in the unknown
• Nourishment in the darkness
• Trust in our ever-changing nature

This shift allowed my client to feel a sense of spaciousness within herself. Instead of trying to force clarity, she could begin to trust that life would flow through her. She could rest in the knowing that she is not here to fix herself—she is here to simply be.

Embodying the Universe Within

By the end of the session, something profound had shifted. Instead of searching for a clear-cut purpose, my client arrived at a deeper understanding: she carries the universe within her. This isn’t about striving or proving anything. It’s not about doing more or finding the perfect path, it’s about surrendering to what is already present. When we stop fighting our own nature, we finally begin to feel at home within ourselves. When we stop resisting, we can finally come home. If you're looking for support on your journey, book a 1:1 call with me to explore any blocks or challenges that may be coming up for you!