Healing Trauma, Creating Safety, and Upgrading the Masculine Imprint

Are unhealed traumas and past experiences holding you back from feeling safe, confident, and connected in your relationships and life? Join me today as I share reflections from a coaching session with one of my amazing students, Amiris. We dive into the importance of trauma healing, creating safety within ourselves, healing the inner masculine, and overgiving as a trauma response.

The Importance of Trauma Healing

Healing from trauma is an essential part of our journey back to ourselves. Trauma leaves imprints in our bodies and minds, shaping our behaviors, beliefs, and relationships in ways we often don’t fully understand. When we talk about trauma healing, we’re talking about reconnecting with the parts of ourselves that were hurt, scared, or shut down during painful experiences. It’s about actually feeling the emotions we’ve locked away, so we can finally release them and move forward in our lives.

During my session with Amiris, we went into a deeply painful memory from her childhood—a moment when she witnessed violence in her home. As a little girl, she felt completely out of control, scared, and invisible. These feelings didn’t just disappear as she grew older...they continued to affect her, shaping her adult relationships and her sense of safety. By guiding her back into that moment, not to re-traumatize her, but to allow her to finally feel those stuck emotions, she can start to dissolve the trauma from that experience.

Trauma healing isn’t easy. It requires us to sit with discomfort and allow emotions to surface, even when they feel overwhelming. But this is the magic of the healing process - when we allow ourselves to feel, we create space for those old wounds to transform. As Amiris allowed herself to feel the fear, helplessness, and grief she had carried for so long, she began the powerful work of rewriting her inner narrative.

This is how we heal—by feeling to heal, by turning toward the emotions we’ve been taught to turn away from.

Creating Embodied Inner Safety

Creating inner safety is one of the most crucial steps in reclaiming our power. For so many of us, safety feels like something that’s dependent on external circumstances like:

• A stable relationship
• A predictable future
• Someone else’s approval

But true safety comes from within. It’s about finding that unwavering sense of security in ourselves, no matter what’s happening outside of us. When we create embodied inner safety, we allow ourselves to move through life with more confidence, more resilience, and more pleasure.

In our session, I worked with Amiris on reconnecting with her body’s sensations, guiding her to feel into the anxiety and fear that would arise when she thought about relationships not working out or things feeling uncertain. Her past experiences had taught her that safety was something outside of her control, something to be constantly grasped for in others. By helping her connect deeply with these feelings, I encouraged her to see that safety is something she can access and cultivate within herself. Inner child work and stepping into the more embodied and powerful parts of ourselves helps us to feel this safety.

As we worked through these sensations, I watched Amiris begin to shift her understanding of what it means to feel safe. It’s not about clinging to things or people that feel stable it’s about anchoring into our own bodies, grounding ourselves in the present moment, and trusting that we have the power to handle whatever comes our way. This was a pivotal moment for her, realizing that she could be her own anchor, no matter what storms might come.

Healing The Inner Masculine

One of the most profound aspects of our session was the work we did around healing with the masculine. For many of us, our relationship with the masculine is one of pain or distrust, often rooted in past experiences of neglect, abuse, or inconsistency. Reclaiming a healthy, loving relationship with the inner masculine allows us to rebuild our sense of support, safety, and strength from within. Our inner masculine is our:

• Protector
• Provider
• Source of strength

I introduced Amiris to the concept of the inner masculine—this powerful, protective, supportive energy that resides within all of us. I guided her through a visualization where the highest version of the masculine came to her aid during her traumatic childhood memory. This masculine presence, embodying qualities of bravery, respect, and unwavering support, offered her the safety and comfort she didn’t receive in that original moment. It was a powerful experience for her, as she felt the warmth and relief of finally being seen and protected.

This exercise was about more than just revisiting a painful memory; it was about re-imprinting her experience of the masculine. Instead of seeing the masculine as something unsafe or untrustworthy, she began to connect with this inner force as a source of love, protection, and stability. I reminded her that this inner masculine would always be available to her, offering a steady source of support no matter what. By cultivating this relationship, she could carry a sense of safety and confidence into her daily life, knowing that she always has a protector within her.

Overgiving as a Trauma Response

Overgiving is a pattern that many of us fall into, often without realizing it’s a trauma response. It’s the belief that we must constantly prove our worth or meet others’ needs to feel:

• Valued
• Safe
• Loved

This pattern often develops as a way to maintain control or security in relationships, especially when we’ve grown up in environments where love felt conditional or unpredictable.

For Amiris, overgiving was deeply tied to her past traumas. She often gave more than she received, driven by a need to secure the presence and commitment of those around her. This pattern left her feeling depleted, unseen, and unappreciated—a cycle that kept her stuck in relationships that didn’t meet her needs. Through our session, we uncovered how this overgiving was actually a subconscious attempt to protect herself from the fear of abandonment and instability.

I encouraged Amiris to start questioning her motivations for giving - was she giving from a place of genuine joy, or was she trying to ensure her own safety? By bringing awareness to this pattern, she could begin to make new choices—choices that prioritized her own pleasure, needs, and boundaries. This realization was so powerful for her, as she started to understand that she didn’t have to overextend herself to be worthy of love and connection. She could instead find her worth from within, knowing that she deserved to receive just as much as she gave.

This session with Amiris was a beautiful reminder of the power we all have to heal, transform, and reclaim our inner worlds.

By addressing our traumas, reconnecting with our inner resources, and redefining our relationships with the masculine, we can create profound shifts in how we experience love, safety, and confidence. If you’re ready to dive deeper into your own healing journey, I would love to support you. Book a complimentary activation call with me, and let’s explore how you can step into a life of pleasure, power, and purpose. You deserve to feel safe, confident, and deeply connected to yourself.