Stop Talking Start Fucking: Julia Wells Interviews Me
Mar 11, 2025
You're in the right place if you’re tired of verbal processing with your partner and are ready for a juicier, more embodied way to heal and connect with them. In this post, we’re diving into how kink, sexual healing, and working with your inner masculine can turn conflict into deeper intimacy and keep your relationship hot and delicious - no endless processing required.
Kink: Turning Conflict into Connection
Kink is so much more than you think. Not only can it be something exciting to explore, it is also a powerful tool for transforming stuck energy and emotions into pleasure. By bringing consensual power dynamics, edge play, and taboo desires into the bedroom, you can create a container for releasing built-up frustration, anger, and even shame.
In my own relationship, I’ve seen how inviting kink into our sex life has not only deepened our connection but has also allowed my husband to process emotions he didn’t even realize he was holding. Whether it’s through spanking, role play, or surrendering control, kink creates a safe space to unleash and alchemize emotions into hot, connected, mind-blowing sex.
The key to using kink as a healing tool is to approach it with clear communication and consent. Start small, maybe a little hair pulling or playful spanking, and see how it feels. If you’re already feeling empowered in your sexuality, you might want to explore Dom/sub dynamics or punishment play as a way to turn conflict into connection. Trust me, it’s a lot more fun than another hour-long conversation where you get nowhere.
Sexual Healing: Reclaiming Pleasure and Power
Before you can use your sex life to heal your relationship, you need to reclaim your own pleasure and power. Sexual healing isn’t about fixing something that’s broken - it’s about peeling back layers of shame, guilt, and conditioning so you can access the pleasure that’s already yours by birthright.
For many of us, this work starts with getting back in touch with P u s s y by releasing numbness, clearing shame, and letting ourselves feel fully. Somatic practices like breathwork, yoni massage, and self-pleasure rituals can help you reconnect to your body and reclaim your right to pleasure. These posts can help support you in this:
What to Do If Sex Doesn’t Feel Good
6 Core Concepts to Turn P u s s y on
When you’re empowered in your own sexuality, you’re able to show up in your relationship from a place of wholeness and turn-on, rather than neediness or resentment. This is the magic that allows you to use sex as a way to process emotions, heal old wounds, and deepen your intimacy with your partner. If you’re new to sexual healing, start with small practices like a daily self-pleasure ritual, or exploring different kinds of touch that feel good to you. The goal is to build a relationship with your body where pleasure is safe, accessible, and celebrated.
Inner Masculine: Healing Your Relationship with the Masculine Energy
If P u s s y is the source of your power and pleasure, your inner masculine is the structure that holds it all. Healing your inner masculine means reclaiming your relationship to masculine energy - safety, presence, integrity, and the ability to take what you want in life. For many of us, our relationship with the masculine has been wounded by past experiences with unreliable, unsafe, or absent masculine figures. This can show up in our relationships as distrust, control issues, or needing our partners to prove their love and devotion constantly.
The good news is that you don’t need your partner to change for you to heal this wound. You can start by cultivating your own inner masculine - an aspect of yourself that is devoted, grounded, and completely in love with you. In my own life, I’ve discovered that letting my inner masculine hold and fuck me has completely transformed my relationship with my husband and the masculine energy in general.
To connect with your inner masculine, start by visualizing a strong, protective presence that is fully devoted to your pleasure and thriving. What does he look like? How does he hold you? How does he speak to you? By building a relationship with this part of yourself, you create a foundation of safety and trust that allows your feminine energy (your pussy) to fully open and receive. If you want a more in-depth practice, read this post!
When you’re empowered in your sexuality, in touch with your inner masculine, and open to exploring kink, you create a powerful alchemy for healing and connection in your relationship. Instead of endless processing, you can use your sex life as a way to move energy, release emotions, and get closer to your partner.
So the next time you find yourself in a conflict with your partner, ask yourself: Do we really need to talk about this, or can we just f*ck it out instead? Your P u s s y might have the answer you’ve been looking for all along.
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